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Love And Dating - Are You Too Nice For Your Own Good?
Are you too nice to people? How can any person be "too nice"? Isn't being "nice" an excellent quality to have within a relationship?
Yes, it's true that people will value niceness in other people, but if your way of being nice is to suppress your own requirements consistently, you are being too nice to people for your own good.
If you always put the needs of others first, and your own needs last, when you don't speak out when your own needs are ignored, then you are being too accommodating for your own good.
Any time you express your niceness as a sign of genuine respect, kindness and interest in a different person, it is a wonderful quality to have.
Whenever the "niceness" is a by-product of low self-esteem, passivity, or desperate loneliness, it may be a liability, and may make other individuals really feel uneasy, guilty, or even attract the sort of people who are willing to exploit you.
Have you ever met a person who never ever expresses their real preferences, opinions, or desires, even in the smallest matters? When a person asks them, "Where would you like to go tonight?" they reply, "I don't care, anything is fine with me, where would you like to eat?"
A person who won't state their opinion or preference may think they are being nice, but this really is not niceness, this is a form of fearfulness, along with a lack of self-respect.
Many people develop the trait of never ever asking for what they want simply because they were raised in a family where expressing desires or opinions was discouraged, or even disallowed.
They may have been literally taught that they shouldn't speak up, that they shouldn't want anything for their own reasons, and that everyone else's opinion mattered more than theirs did.
A young child who grew up inside a family where they weren't allowed to express their desires or opinions, may grow up believing that this is how the whole world wants them to react, even after they have become adults.
They might find it tough to take the initiative in any situation involving other folks. They may feel uncomfortable or fearful expressing their desires. They might even feel they are being "bad" if they ask for anything.
If you find your wishes are often being ignored, take a close look at why this really is happening and see how you can change it.
When you don't know where to start, begin by reading the game book neil strauss. You can also check out the game review webpage to get suggestions from folks in the exact same position that you're in by searching: the game.
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